<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>poured from your chest by goblinteeth_4114</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458869">poured from your chest</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinteeth_4114/pseuds/goblinteeth_4114'>goblinteeth_4114</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Azula, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar)-centric, F/M, Firebending &amp; Firebenders, Hanahaki Disease, One Shot, fire and water</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:49:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,597</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinteeth_4114/pseuds/goblinteeth_4114</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Azula thinks it's ridiculous that she has a disease. she thinks it's even more ridiculous that she's in love with someone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azula (Avatar)/Original Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>poured from your chest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was going to apologize for writing horribly but no I'm not! I love my writing style because bad art has good charm and here I am and I'm not changing for anyone</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was an average day. I was at a restaurant in Capital City. I had done excellent work that week in my firebending training, so I decided to treat myself. I don’t usually do this, but Mai and Ty Lee managed to convince me to. </p><p> </p><p>A while after my friends and I were seated at a table, a boy walked in with a friend of his. They were seated right next to us, so I couldn’t help but look over at them. They both looked like they weren’t from around here, as they were both wearing traditional Southern Water Tribe clothing. Amusing, to see people from the Southern Water Tribe in a Capital City restaurant. I briefly wondered what they might be doing here, but Ty Lee quickly distracted me by asking me how the food is, which I hadn’t even noticed had arrived.</p><p> </p><p>The meal went by quickly, as I was lost in my thoughts. Before we left the restaurant, I wanted to go and introduce myself to the boy, but I convinced myself that that would be a waste of time, as there are more important matters to take care of when I got back home.</p><p> </p><p>The next day, I awoke to a sickeningly sweet taste in my mouth. I was concerned, but worse things have happened before, so I went to my morning training and continued my day as usual. </p><p> </p><p>A few more days passed with this odd taste in my mouth. I asked Mai and she said she has no idea what the problem could be, since I keep myself in excellent health. </p><p> </p><p>The morning of the 4th day with this strange taste in my mouth, I opened my eyes to find flower petals strewn across my pillow, and upon further observation, coming from my mouth. I didn’t process how horrified I was for a moment, but then immediately ran out of my room, without even putting my hair up. </p><p> </p><p>Father asked where I was going without getting myself ready, and I barely slowed down to tell him I had to see the doctor. I’m sure he would have followed me if he didn’t see the few flower petals that had fallen out of my mouth on the floor. I’m sure he cares why I need to see the doctor.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The doctor was as equally puzzled as I was. After he told me he couldn’t help me, I scolded him for his incompetence. If I was able to, I would have banished him right then and there. This could be a serious matter and the palace doctor can’t even tell me what’s wrong with me? Unbelievable. </p><p> </p><p>I went back to my room to get ready, I can’t go walking around the city looking like this. I decided to add a mask to my outfit since I’m disgusted at the flower petals pouring from my mouth, and I imagine other people would be as well. No point putting on lipstick then.</p><p> </p><p>I eventually tracked down Mai and Ty Lee and told them what was going on. They requested to see under my mask, but I declined. I don’t want them thinking of me any differently. I must remain respected, especially by my two most valued allies. Ty Lee said she might be able to help me if she saw exactly what was going on, and eventually, I begrudgingly accepted. She audibly gasped once I removed it, and for a moment feared that she had already lost respect for me. Instead of immediately running away, she expressed her concern for my well-being, which I never expected from her, or anyone for that matter. </p><p> </p><p>Ty Lee told me that I had Hanahaki Disease. A disease? That’s unacceptable. I obviously asked what I could do to stop it, and what had caused it in the first place. I was afraid they would see my panic on my face, so I tried my best to remain calm. </p><p> </p><p>I became upset immediately after she told me what the cause was. I am not “in love” with anyone, and I never will be for that matter. Love simply isn’t one of my concerns. My goals have been set in stone since day one, and that will not change for anyone or anything. It’s only when Ty Lee tells me that if I don’t “confess my feelings” to this person that I’m in love with, my condition will get worse, and I will eventually die.</p><p> </p><p>I can’t achieve my ambitions if I cease to be, and that would be horrible, so I decided to go along with this and confess my feelings to this person. They obviously won’t feel the same way, so I’ll just go back to doing what I usually do. If they somehow return the feelings, I’ll leave anyway, and then I’ll just be a distant memory of that one time the princess told them she was in love with them. I’m not opposed to that. Of course, at the time I wasn’t aware that the feelings had to be returned for me to survive.</p><p> </p><p>At first, I thought I had feelings for Ty Lee. It’s not exactly untrue that I haven’t thought about kissing her every once in a while. I mostly ignored that, and I think I always will. But that wouldn’t make sense, because I had those thoughts far before the sickly sweet taste in my mouth. </p><p>Then I realized. It must have been the boy at the restaurant. I paid attention to him briefly, which I never do, especially to some unknown person in a public place. I still don’t know how I could be “in love” with him though, I think love at first sight is logically impossible, and a silly concept as well. My brain must just be confused. Nonetheless, I’ll find him and resolve this issue once and for all. </p><p> </p><p>Mai reminds me that they appeared to be from the Southern Water Tribe and that they could be back home by now. That doesn’t matter. I’ll travel all the way to the Southern Water Tribe and back if it means saving my life. I can’t die, at least not anytime soon. I simply won’t allow that. We searched for him around Capital City for the majority of that day, and I went home feeling somewhat defeated. We would leave tomorrow morning for the Southern Water Tribe, since he was nowhere to be found here. </p><p> </p><p>I woke up before the sun even rose the next morning. I could barely sleep, subconsciously worrying that we wouldn’t be able to find him. I highly dislike when certain parts of my brain think differently than they should be.</p><p> </p><p>I left the house quite early. I knew Ty Lee and Mai wouldn’t be up for a few hours yet, so I walked to the town square to try and relax. Nobody was awake yet, so they wouldn’t notice if I trained for a bit here. I began training as quietly as I could.</p><p> </p><p>I had been in the square for at least half an hour. The sun began to rise, finally, and I heard clapping coming from my left. I looked in that direction immediately, and there he was. He hadn’t gone to the Southern Water Tribe at all, in fact, he looked more at home here than he did before, having changed into Fire Nation clothing. Part of his black hair pulled into a fluffy topknot, the bottom part remaining loose, the sides still in the traditional Southern Water Tribe hair bands. His clothes were loose and stained with paint, two paint buckets hanging from his arm as he clapped. He noticed that I had looked over at him, and then stopped. </p><p> </p><p>He said he was impressed with how elegant and beautiful my firebending was, and that he’s never seen blue fire before, asking if it was common. He was even more astonished when I told him that I’m the only known person in history to be able to summon it. He introduced himself as Damien and said that he remembered me from the restaurant. Something about how striking my eyes are. </p><p> </p><p>I asked if he was, in fact, from the Southern Water Tribe. He said that he is, and that he had gone to the restaurant that day to celebrate moving here with his friend.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Some flower petals had fallen out of my mask as we were talking, and my efforts to hide them eventually failed. He expressed his concern, asking if I was alright. He immediately knew it was Hanahaki and asked how long I’ve had it. I told him that it had been about a week, and shock washed over his face for a moment. He had figured out what had caused it. I wanted to ask how he knew so much about the disease, but I didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>I was afraid when I realized that he knew how I had gotten the disease. Other people are usually afraid of me, and I’m usually never afraid myself. But at this moment, I knew that if he didn’t feel the same, I was doomed. </p><p> </p><p>To my relief, he made a nervous joke about having to take me out on a date. I was unsure if the feelings were returned, so I asked, just to make sure. He reassured me, and we went our separate ways.</p><p> </p><p>I told Mai and Ty Lee what had happened, and that he was going to pick me up in a few hours for brunch. I was puzzled as to why the flowers hadn’t gone away yet.</p><p> </p><p>We met for the date. He took me to a park I didn’t know existed. It was a very secluded spot, but I was still surprised. I had lived here my whole life, and him only for a week.</p><p> </p><p>At first, we had a nice conversation, like how I assume a normal date would go. We sat under a tree. He told me he was going to bring a picnic but wasn’t sure if I could eat. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually, I started being unable to talk as much. The flower petals turned into entire flowers. I started choking on them, to my dismay. I thought that perhaps if I choked he would think I wasn’t listening, and would leave. I was trying to make him afraid of me, so that he would stay. Fear is the only reliable way after all. </p><p> </p><p>The fear tactic wasn’t working as planned. He looked at me with warm eyes, pity I assume. Why should he feel pity for me, just because I have this disease? I felt small, and I shouldn’t have. I’m the princess of the Fire Nation. </p><p> </p><p>Near the end of the date, he finally expresses his concern that I haven’t recovered from the disease even though he told me that he has feelings for me. He reassured me that it was true, and believed him. He seemed worried about me, and as we parted ways he kissed my cheek, since I didn’t want to remove my mask.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning I woke up, still coughing up flowers. I was angry about this now. Why hadn’t it stopped? He did what he was supposed to. So did I. There must be something else I can change, something else I can fix. Then I remembered that I hadn’t done proper firebending training in quite a while. The training in the town square yesterday was subpar, at best. I went back to the courtyard, my favourite place to train years ago. I was longing for nostalgia, any small semblance of the past. </p><p> </p><p>I trained that day for hours. The calluses on my hands got more intense, I was drenched in sweat, my topknot had become loose. I wasn’t going to stop, I couldn’t. If I stopped, I would have to admit what was coming. I was starting to feel lightheaded, my swings becoming less powerful, my legs wobbling. This was weakness, I wasn’t weak. I had never been weak, and I would never be weak. I could hear and feel the sun beaming down on every part of me, I could feel things ending for me, in the near distance. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, I stopped swinging. I collapsed on my hands and knees, and a pile of flowers poured from my chest. I was barely able to breathe as that happened, and afterwards, I collapsed on the grass. </p><p> </p><p>The next thing I remember happening was Damien crouching over me, bending water onto my face. My initial reaction was to be angry that he was doing so, but then I remembered what had happened before I collapsed, and that I probably had heatstroke. </p><p> </p><p>He told me it took him a very long time to convince my father and the guards to let him in, and that he almost started crying. I wondered why he would’ve cried. That seemed unreasonable to me, almost childish. </p><p> </p><p>I asked him why, directly. Was it pity, I asked?</p><p>No, according to him, he cared about me. Something drew him to me in the restaurant, but he was too nervous to talk to me, because of how “amazing” I seemed. He told me that it only strengthened when he saw me firebending in the town square, that he never thought he would find someone that could match his kind of power. I told him I found this hard to believe. He seemed shocked, and then asked me if I even believed him at all, that he had feelings for me. I was silent for a moment. This whole conversation took place while I laid on the grass, and he sat beside me, legs tucked under himself, tears welling up in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>I said no. I said that I thought I believed him, but that if I truly did, I surely would’ve been cured by now. It took me so long to speak, between coughing up petals and flowers. They were all pink roses. Every last petal, every last flower. I wondered if it was like that in all cases.</p><p> </p><p>He asked if he could do anything to make me believe him. He said that he didn’t want me to die, that he couldn’t go on if I did. I thought he was being extremely dramatic, since he barely knows me. He said we had a “connection”, and that it seemed like he knew me already, for a long time. This was extremely confusing to me, since that was obviously untrue, so why would it seem that way?</p><p> </p><p>I don’t know what compelled me to do this, but I told him that I would never believe that anyone truly loved me, in any way, but that the closest thing to love I had was father, since he was always by my side and seemed to appreciate what I did. I said that people will always leave, that love isn’t actually real- especially not love at first sight, that nothing really matters except for power and success, so on and so forth. I went on and on like this. I can’t remember for how long, but he listened to the whole thing. I’d never been that honest in my whole life, and I might not ever again.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t say much after that, except for that he never thought he’d meet anyone so much like him. Then he leaned down, cleared as many flowers and petals away from my mouth as he could, and kissed me, on the lips this time. To put the rest briefly, I’m still here years later, and so is he, right by my side.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>